My One Prize Possession... My Life... The Jewel That Keeps Me Awake at Night

On a hot summer day I reach into my freezer to grab the tub of ice cream before realizing my father had eaten the last four scoops of my beloved cotton candy. Before I decided to panic, I reach into my pocket and come out with a handful of dimes... and bushels of dark blue lint. The dimes together add up to $3.30. Without any hesitation I realize what $3.30 can buy me. A large iced capp from Tim Horton's. I'm yet to have my daily dose of this refreshing masterpiece, so the lack of ice cream only helps contribute to my everyday tradition.
As I enter the Highway 8 Tim Horton's with Evan, the foreign woman takes my order and gives me my 5 cents in change. I dip my straw into the liquidy awesomeness and begin my quest for heaven. Caffeine truly is an addicting drug. I've become a fiend, similar to smokers, alcoholics or even sex addicts... yet I believe mine is the safest, and in most cases the most legal.

Alive at 75... I hope

It's my 75th birthday and I've just blown out my 76th candle. I struggle to breathe so I reach for the oxygen tank connected to the side of my wheel chair. I continue to gasp for air as I already inhaled most of the oxygen from the tank due to the long stroll to the dinner table from my bedroom. The wear and tear I've placed on my body over the years has clearly damaged my insides and is the main reason for the wrinkles covering my face.... As I reach for my extra special piece of cake--- I wake up.

Like that would ever happen... I'd be the healthiest 75 year old known to man. Well, maybe not, but a wheel chair? Let's get serious. I'll be living in my house wherever that shall be, with my lovely family... Pizza for breakfast, pizza for lunch, pizza for dinner. What else do I have to spend my money on? Clothes are no longer a necessity and my baseball career has ended almost 50 years ago. I already told the world how to live a healthy and active life, so that won't be a problem and my routines won't change once I get this old.

How To Stay Fit

The key to living a long and healthy life is to wear a "Stay Fit" tee shirt to remind yourself you constantly need to stay in shape. Excercise through sports, running, or join a local gym. The most productive way to maintain a healthy lifestyle would be joining the Orchard Park "Feel the power feel fit" program. Rather than picking up that Kit-Kat or bag of chips, pick up sone fruit or a bag of carrots. Lay off the KFC and McDonalds as much as possible, but if you like Wendy's I say go for it <3. Don't step in front of moving vehicles or walk through any suspicious gangs if you're by yourself. (Any way to make yourself live live longer). Use the washroom as much as possible... even if you don't have to.

If you can follow these directions, you might just find yourself celebrating your 127th birthday.