Fiction at its...Finest?

You would never have guessed this happened but...

The teleport located in my living room took me to "heaven". Once I tried undoing what I did and teleporting back to my living room, I realized I was missing my shoes. Apparently this teleport only allowes access if you wear shoes, "no shoes, no use". No one here in "heaven" worse shoes, everyone seemed so friendly like they were right at home in their own living room. I just wanted to shout out, "Why am I here? where are my shoes?" But I decided to take a gander first. I met "God", his dominant eyes hid behind his shady glasses. I questioned if this was actually God, like, if you're so powerful, don't hide behind your glasses. I noticed the yellow snot running down his face, I was disgusted. He was definitely an imposter. I stood still for a minute. I was awkwardly intrigued by this yellow mucus, and this imposter. Once I was realized what I was doing, I took out my umbrella and opened it violently in the direction of his dome. I figured, if this really is God, it will not hurt him. I was wrong, the top of the umbrella poked him in the left eye, much to my amusement, unfortunately not his. I then ran, faster than I ever have before and ended up finding a McDonalds. I wanted to purchase a salad, you know, something that won't effect my running. This wasn't a normal McDonalds, the only food sold here was mouldy, smelly, pre eaten deer, somewhat reminded me of Briar.
This really put me on edge. I stormed out of the line and made my way to the bathroom, I had to hurl. Little did I know, I would find another teleport located in the stall, which thankfully teleported me back to my living room, where all the madness commenced... and swear I to you, this is exactly how it all went down.


Credit: The Simpsons, and Briar.